I’m tired of hearing about what arrogant snobs we Americans are.

We’re elitist!  We’re boastful!

Oh, really?

As I drive the beautiful Blue Ridge between the North and South, I have long stretches of time to listen to local radio talk shows.  (There are almost 1,700 talk radio stations in this country, reaching 50 million listeners!)

I can’t think of a better way of proving to other cultures that we are NOT elitist, unpretentious snobs than by sharing with them a few recordings from a local radio talk show from any town in America.

“Hi folks, Wolfman Skag here. Welcome to another three hours of ‘Anything Goes.’  This morning we’re talking about the City Council’s decision to add lights to Burke and Elm streets.  Hello, you’re on the air.”

“Hi, this is Karen from Bear Poplar.”

“Welcome, Karen.  What’s on your mind?”

“Well, it’s my husband.  I don’t know how to say this because I’ve only just discovered it myself, and I’m so embarrassed, but he’s a…well…he’s a sock-shoe dresser.”

“Say that again, Karen.  He’s a what?”

“A sock-shoe dresser.  You know, he gets dressed sock-shoe-sock-shoe instead of sock-sock-shoe-shoe like normal people.  I’m just mortified.”

“Okaaaaaay, Karen…so how long has he been doing this and what does it have to do with streetlights?”

“What? Oh, I can’t remember. Sorry, I’ve just lost my train of thought…but I think I’m experiencing déjà vu so if you just wait a couple minutes I might remember what I forgot.”

“Ahh, yeah, Karen. Thanks for the call.  Hi.  Welcome to ‘Anything Goes’. You’re on the air.”

“Yeah, hi.  This  is Jack from Olin.”

“Thanks for calling, Jack.  What’s on your mind?”

“Well, the other day I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he’s disappeared.  I was wondering if anyone knew of an antidote I could use to bring him back.”

“Okay, Jack, today we’re talking about lights at Burke and Elm streets. Who’s up next?  Hi, you’re on the air.”

“Hi, Wolfman.  My name is Mick. I’m from Fair Grove.  I just wanted to say that I think the lights are a good thing. They’re long overdue.”

“And why is that Mick?  Do you have personal experience with those streets?”

“Well, yeah, four months ago my VISA card was stolen on Burke Street.  If there’d been more lights it might not have happened.”

“Well, Mick, that’s a good point.  Did the police mention other crimes on that street?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know.  I didn’t report the card stolen.”

“What!  Why not?”

“Well, whoever stole it is using it less than my wife so I figure I’m better off.”

“Okaaaaay, folks.  Fortunately, we’re outta’ time. Tune in tomorrow when we’ll discuss Friday night’s pageant for queen of the rattlesnake round-up.”

And there you have it.

So, really, how could other countries believe we are elitist snobs?

~

Explore and grow: Proverbs 16:19 ─ “Better it is to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.”

 

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