When the Farmers Exchange clock on my mantel strikes midnight and I find myself writing a sentence like this one: “Watch out for the tree!” Adriana barked…

 …well, you know it’s time to get some rest.

If you didn’t catch the “Tom Swiftie” in that sentence, then perhaps you too are in need of rest, or you just need a little more practice.

A “Tom Swiftie” is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed.  In brief, it’s an adverbial pun, and it’s my favorite form of a play on words.

This once, let’s just label today as “Fun Friday” and enjoy a few Tom Swifties from my collection.  See if you can get through them without laughing:

• “I need a pencil sharpener,” said Donica bluntly.
• “I’ve got clubs, diamonds, and spades,” Ed said heartlessly.
• “I manufacture kitchen tabletops for restaurants,” said Tony counterproductively.
• “You need to add more water,” Fred said with great concentration.
• “Oh no!  The wind took my hat!” said Danny off the top of his head.
• “You act like you are such a big wheel,” he spoke.
• “I just love being in the spotlight,” she beamed.
• “It’s a dog’s life,” he muttered.
• “Help! The faucet’s broken,” she gushed.
• “I miss camping in the woods,” she pined.
• “There’s room for one more,” Sheila admitted.
• “Young man, you’re getting the haircut of your life,” his mother said barbarously.
• “The exit is right there,” Denise pointed out.
• “You better be on time,” Jason said promptly.
• “The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm,” Michael said humorlessly.
• “I just ate that Eskimo’s dog,” said Wyatt in a husky voice.

And now we know why editors want us to stick with “he said.”

“On the writing process:  When in doubt, take it out.” ― Barbara DaCosta