And then there was the guy who asked why anyone would spend years writing a novel when you can buy one for about twenty bucks.

Clearly this guy doesn’t know that we writers as a lot are generally afflicted with one or more diseases that compel us to write.

Writers, here’s my list in case you wish to keep tabs on your own health:

  1. Scribogravitis – affliction in which victim is traumatized by thoughts of dying before being published.
  2.  Pensanity – debilitating disease based upon the belief that one can live on the avails of one’s writing.
  3.  Mood Poisoning – illness resulting from the development of contaminated thoughts, such as “I’ll never get published, ” or “Writer’s block is real.”
  4. Rowling Envy – paralyzing condition in which victim obsesses about the success of JK Rowling.
  5. Mad Pen Disease – fatal neurodegenerative disease that causes a spongy degeneration in victim’s hand; can be controlled with continued gripping of a pen.
  6. Blabiosis – affliction wherein victim is so impressed with what comes out of his own mouth that he feels he has to put it on paper too.
  7. Homestickness – condition wherein victim obsesses about staying home to write, eschewing all family outings and public get-togethers.
  8. Sophistosaurus Disease – illness in which victim compulsively uses more-sophisticated words, like “eschewing,” rather than shorter, more common words.
  9. Amengitis: affliction in which victim is obsessed with writing the last, most authoritative and most thought-provoking word on any topic.
  10. Listophobia – The extreme fear of writing a list with an odd number of items; so much so, that, even when victim is clearly done, she creates another item whether or not it’s applicable.


Explore and grow: Psalms 103:2-3  – Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases.



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