Suffering from Mood Poisoning Today

by | Jan 3, 2012

And then there was the guy who asked why anyone would spend years writing a novel when you can buy one for about twenty bucks.

Clearly this guy doesn’t know that we writers as a lot are generally afflicted with one or more diseases that compel us to write.

Writers, here’s my list in case you wish to keep tabs on your own health:

  1. Scribogravitis – affliction in which victim is traumatized by thoughts of dying before being published.
  2.  Pensanity – debilitating disease based upon the belief that one can live on the avails of one’s writing.
  3.  Mood Poisoning – illness resulting from the development of contaminated thoughts, such as “I’ll never get published, ” or “Writer’s block is real.”
  4. Rowling Envy – paralyzing condition in which victim obsesses about the success of JK Rowling.
  5. Mad Pen Disease – fatal neurodegenerative disease that causes a spongy degeneration in victim’s hand; can be controlled with continued gripping of a pen.
  6. Blabiosis – affliction wherein victim is so impressed with what comes out of his own mouth that he feels he has to put it on paper too.
  7. Homestickness – condition wherein victim obsesses about staying home to write, eschewing all family outings and public get-togethers.
  8. Sophistosaurus Disease – illness in which victim compulsively uses more-sophisticated words, like “eschewing,” rather than shorter, more common words.
  9. Amengitis: affliction in which victim is obsessed with writing the last, most authoritative and most thought-provoking word on any topic.
  10. Listophobia – The extreme fear of writing a list with an odd number of items; so much so, that, even when victim is clearly done, she creates another item whether or not it’s applicable.

~

Explore and grow: Psalms 103:2-3  – Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases.

 

 

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Historical intrigue interwoven with modern-day suspense and a touch of the mysterious.

Contemporary romantic suspense.

Coming-of-age sagas.

About Koontz’s Writing:

DLKoontz

An award-winning writer, former journalist and corporate escapee, D. L. Koontz writes about what she knows: muddled lives, nail-biting unknowns and eternal hope. Growing up, she learned the power of stories and intrigue from saged storytellers on the front porch of her Allegheny Mountains farmhouse. Despite being waylaid for years by academia and corporate endeavors, her roots proved that becoming a writer of suspense was only a matter of time. She has been published in seven languages.

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American Society of Journalists and Authors

ACFW

American Christian Fiction Writers

1 Comment

  1. Darlene Reighard

    Quite witty, Lady! I can now diagnose some of my symptoms….. not a professional writer, but enjoyed this.

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