November ushered us into Thanksgiving, a time when we rightly pondered our blessings as we stared at an overcooked Butterball turkey and tolerated our curmudgeonly Uncle Bob. Fortunately, gratitude isn’t limited to November, or to things or situations. It can encompass chances, experiences and wisdom, too. These all crashed together for me, below, and I just had to share as we head into Christmas.

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Funny but, due to extenuating circumstances in previous years, I have gotten older.

Turns out, those free rides around the sun come at a cost: Each ends with a calendar flip, a cosmic re-calculation, and a new digit tagged to your accumulation.

You then must share your revised number with doctors, the DMV and evildoers like the IRS which can use things you did during those trips against you.

Aging – It’s A Numbers Thing

So, the other day while ruminating on the number of trips I’ve taken, I wondered what I had to show for it.

Loss came to mind first. (Yes, you can show loss. Ask any numbers cruncher.)

I spent the first thirty-five to forty of my trips gathering—education, knowledge, common sense, wealth, possessions, experiences.

After that, my trips began to show marked loss – sanity, memory, svelte figure, height, agility, great hair.

Did I mention memory?

Without a doubt, most of those “losses” display themselves on my body.

But then I thought about what this body has accomplished during all those trips and, in the vein of honoring this Christmas season of love and forgiving, I decided to cut it some slack…nay, even give thanks. It gave birth to an amazing son. It moved in and out of six houses, earned a master’s degree, and taught a class at Harvard University every August for 20 years. It learned how to climb a mountain, shoot a gun, milk a cow, play a piano, drive a 4-wheeler, write books, deliver a keynote, grow food, and curl up perfectly with Just My Joe. It has kayaked off the coast of Alaska, toured most of Europe, gone whaling, gotten lost in an Arizona desert, walked every inch of Venice (because who doesn’t get lost there?), done the hula in Hawaii, visited our Canadian and Mexican neighbors, and worshipped at the top of Cadillac Mountain. What’s more, it has buried a beloved parent, hugged friends, counseled clients, and loved more people and animals than I can remember (because, you know, the memory is gone. Did I mention that?)

Yes, if I could go back, I wouldn’t kvetch so much about the ole’ chassis that gets me around, but there sure are other things I’d change. With a new year coming soon, I hope to do more of these:

1. Eat Smart

Ever notice people will eat just about anything, but refuse to feed their pets with the same abandon? Our Fidos and Fluffys get no junk food, no sugar, no products from China. Do you treat your body that well?

I think if people understood that the phrase, “You are what you eat,” actually means, “You are an accumulation of what you eat,” they’d be a little more persnickety about what they shovel in.

Example: Gluten is a sticky protein composite found in many modern grains that gives elasticity and a chewy texture to dough. And what are they finding consistently in the brains of deceased dementia patients? Yes, a white, gooey substance. Enough said.

2. Forgive Others

They beat you, hurt you, ignored you, insulted you, irked you, slighted you, troubled you, embarrassed you?

Forgive them.

Jesus said don’t do it just seven times, but seventy times seven. I’m sure God has already forgiven me more times than that.

And really, your lack of forgiveness doesn’t hurt other people one bit; it only hurts you.

Forgive, and set boundaries if you must. Just be wise about it. Sometimes I think setting boundaries is nothing more than a self-massaging replacement phrase for not forgiving. Or, for not admitting you are overly sensitive, especially if the avenger has an otherwise good heart.

I can’t imagine Jesus ending communication and removing people from his life. He would have always, ALWAYS kept the door open and just loved. Period.

Just loved.

People make mistakes. Shrug, forgive, move on.

3. Laugh Often

At what? Anything. Everything. But mostly, at yourself.

The best people to be around are those who laugh at their own faults and foibles.

My thinking is that we humans are the only creatures to whom God bestowed laughter. I think this means we should use it often.

And really, ever been around someone who never smiles? It sure makes the day drag, doesn’t it? I am susceptible to other people’s bad moods, so in that respect, bad mooders become manipulators. Don’t let them manipulate your happiness.

Then there are people who don’t “get” your humor.

Example: A month or two ago I wrote a post about life in the South. It was dripping with light sarcasm because, well, I’m from the North where sarcasm is an art form. We pour it on our humor like the South pours sugar on tea. (I say “light” sarcasm because it was clear to all intelligent readers that I actually love my new stomping ground.)

However, one reader posted this: “With that attitude, you’ll always be a Yankee.”

I laughed, marveling at the sarchasm between us (that’s the distance between my sarcastic writing and the person who doesn’t get it.)

What can you do? Forgive, laugh, move on.

4. Live Simply

I long for the good ole’ days (you know, before the current Administration) when more money was printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Nowadays, the Feds print money faster than a jack rabbit on steroids. The sad result: inflation and a devalued dollar (It’s coming…).

The stock market is volatile, I’ve lost (lots!) of money in real estate, and I’ve seen land values waffle too. What’s more, I cringe at thoughts of the money I’ve spent on shoes, electronics, and new cars.

The point is, I wish I’d saved more through the years so there’d be more in my struggling portfolio when precarious times come.

I’m so glad I’ve finally returned to a simpler, down-sized, rural life (I call it reintarnation.)

5. Think Positive

Years ago, during a fallen-off-the-narrow-road, self-improvement kick, I sought peace of mind—you know, pseudo “true happiness” and self-actualization.

In those days the answers were always in the bookstore, so off I went.

Turns out, the Self-Help section was the largest part of every bookstore. I found my way to a large table with a cup of coffee and all the self-help books between 39° and 41° latitudes.

Did I learn much? Yeah, a lot of cerebral factoids. But not much heart knowledge. And really, you can’t change your mind until you’ve changed your heart.

Fast forward until the day I realized that the best advice I’ve ever gotten has come from positive thinkers.

Further, those positive thinkers were, by and large, Christians and other folks with strong faiths (Jews, Hindus, too).

Before I offend every Christian and Jew with this next comment, please: (1) remember that I’m a Christian too, and (2) hear me through before passing judgment or passing out. (I threw this thought out in Sunday School recently and the others weren’t sure what to think of me….)

Okay, you ready? Christians always remind me of the Whos down in Whoville. You know what I’m talking about—from the Dr. Seuss book, How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

That ole Grinch hated the Whos’ happiness. Hated their love. Hated their joy. He just didn’t get it and wanted it gone.

So what did he do? He decided to make all the Whos as miserable as he was. He swooped down and stole the symbols of their happiness – Christmas trees, wreaths, lights, trimmings, stockings….why, he even stole the last can of Who-hash, as you may recall.

And what did those Whos do? They frowned (barely) at the loss and moved right on with the celebration that was in their hearts.

So, the Grinch learned that removing signs of happiness doesn’t remove the actual happiness.

Translated to Christians: The Grinches of this country have swooped down and manipulated the courts into removing signs of God.

The Christians frown (barely) at the loss and move right on with the celebration that is in their hearts.

Meanwhile, the Grinchy atheists and the ACLU have not yet learned that removing signs of God does not remove the reality of God and the price that must be paid for ignoring that reality.

I’m happy to be a smiling, enlightened Who down in Whoville with a positive attitude, rather than a sourpuss Grinch who thinks he knows more.

This thinking positive notion? It works.

6. Chill Out

I think most people are uptight because they believe they are not understood.

Stop obsessing about it. Hear me on this, you will never be understood by everyone.

Never.

Pleasing everyone is about as simple as licking your elbow.

Example: I recently received a horrible review at Goodreads.com about my book, Crossing into the Mystic. The “lady” (Lindsay…she hid the rest of her identify) zonked me for writing about gruesome war scenes and for including “steamy” sex scenes.

Huh? The Civil War was horribly gruesome—ask any historian. And, my characters share one innocent kiss. No groping. No touchy-feely.

My friends argue that “Lindsay” is proof that some people only put you down to feel better about themselves. If that’s true, then I guess I helped her feel better.

And since we’re talking friends: There are certain friends with whom you can be honest and vice versa. You know the kind—they’ll say things like, “Girl, those tight white jeans just aren’t working on you,” and “Hon, your face would look younger with a different hair style.”

I appreciate friends like that, especially in light of Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” You can trust what true friends say, even when it hurts. If solicited feedback is always peachy perfect and positive, be wary.

Again, chill out. You can’t control what other people say and think.

7. Consume Wisely

Not just products and services, but information!

I’ve lost track of the shoulds and shouldn’ts, and the “truths” I’ve stupidly subscribed to over the years.

And what about news reports? It’s said that the Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country. The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

The point: News differs depending on the outlet and the spin. It is NOT objective any more. News stories are rife with opinions.

We teach our children to be wise consumers of products, to get second opinions on medical advice, and to collect comparison bids on services, yet we let them consume the news without teaching them to filter, challenge, or question it.

The former journalist in me could do a whole series on how to spot bias in news reports.

8. Serve Others

A friend at a writing conference once told the group that he tithes his time to help others, in addition to tithing his money. I love that idea and have adopted it.

I can’t say I always measure up; like everyone else, I get busy…

However, when I park at my computer, I do try to help someone else each day to succeed. Or, I try to practice that random act of kindness at least once a day. Or, I take food to someone, feed their dogs, whatever is needed.

Serving others doesn’t mean you’re less than them, or subservient to them. I agree with social critic and writer Dick Gregory who said, “One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.” Besides, the Bible (my book of wisdom) teaches us to help others.

If you’re stumped on what to do, here’s a good list for starters: http://learnthis.ca/2010/02/100-ways-to-serve-others/

9. Value Work

Be productive. Contribute.

Don’t get stuck in a lifestyle and way of thinking or working that takes you nowhere.

There is one person in my extended family who works hard. All the time. If he/she would only work smart instead of hard, his/her life would be more productive and balanced.

Further, I was brought up to deliver more than what you get paid for. Is that smart? You betcha – I rest better at night knowing I’ve gone above and beyond.

And, where possible, help others escape the “nowhere road” too. Sadly the current political climate preaches that employers abuse workers, companies are greedy, nothing is your fault, and you are a victim of circumstances beyond your control.

But, when you decide that a certain group or race of people needs more help than others, then you are delivering the greatest disservice. You are deciding they are inferior and can’t accomplish things on their own.

Treat them like equals, not inferiors. Don’t devalue people by setting limits on their capabilities or advocating harmful propaganda.

10. Be Spontaneous

Recently, my friend Shannon, a mother of a toddler, was picking my brain as to what I’d do differently as a parent if I could go back in time.

After days of pondering the question, I decided my answer: Be more spontaneous.

I became a single mom when my son turned 5, and that lasted until he entered college. It was just the two of us. I became mom, surrogate dad, friend, coach, breadwinner, chief cook and bottle washer.

I was the one who taught him the important things in life—you know, how to burp loudly after drinking soda, how to shop for athletic supporters, and why girls embrace leg waxing but shudder at the mere thought of snakes.

I learned to speak fluent football, hold my own in video games and grit my teeth when he asked if instead of visiting Mt. Rushmore on vacation, we could visit the John Deere combine and tractor factories in Illinois and Iowa. (Hey, I got Mom of the year for agreeing…)

My point? To get everything done—pay the mortgage, work full-time, take him to/from private school, expose him to the world—there was little opportunity to veer off the schedule, to be spontaneous.

I’d love to go back in time and just once, when I’m driving him to school, take a different turn and announce we were going on a fun adventure that day instead.

Imagine his squeal of delight.

But wishing to go back in time is about as useless as a Kardashian on Jeopardy. (Oops, okay, my next list will include: “Don’t be snarky”).

Point is, be more spontaneous. Usually the best moments are unplanned.

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Yes, this Christmas season I’ll be giving thanks for the time and for second (and third and fourth!) chances to do more of the items on this list. Just as Christ gives us second chances.

So what have I missed, friends? What’s on your list? Have I given you any ideas for new beginnings in 2015?