- I can make someone yawn from 107 miles away.
- The only thing worse than the alarm going off in the morning is the alarm not going off.
- The people who aren’t present are always wrong.
- When people ask for critical feedback, what they really want is praise.
- It takes more time and effort to figure out my income taxes than it does to make it.
- My bathroom scale hates me.
- Flies serve no useful purpose.
- I’ve burned a lot of good brain cells worrying about things that have never happened.
- The buck stopped before it got here.
- Keep your expectations low so that you are always pleasantly surprised.
- My idea of camping is a room at a Motel 6 with one outlet.
- If I growl all day, I’m going to be dog-tired at night.
- You can’t put your American Express bill on your VISA card.
- The quickest way to make a red light turn green is to try to send a text message.
- I really enjoy making lists.
List makers are goal achievers. I make lists all the time…. love to cross things off that list! Be wary though if you have done something that is not on your list – please don’t add it to the list just so you can cross it off!@@! NOT a good sign….. your mental health is in question!